"Normal"

"If you were "normal" you wouldn't be here." This is the response I received from the sonographer at my RE's office during a routine, beginning of the cycle, visit when I asked a question about what she saw on my scan. I have heard this more than once when I've asked basic questions like "what is normal?" relative to number of follicles and follicle size as we are beginning a treatment cycle. I don't blame her for being blunt and being direct with me, but that comment has stuck with me. I get that "normal" women just show up for sonograms and hear a heartbeat or see a fetus rather than look at what is there to possibly produce an egg or a potential baby. So I am thinking why the f*# should I be considered anything but normal? Why should the other women be the ones considered "normal"? So I don't have the perfect ovaries and reproductive system of a 30 year old for whatever f'ed up reason. Why should I or women like me be the abnormals??? Why shouldn't it be the other way around that those women who have "whoopsies," have 1 month or even 6 months of trying to conceive, or even those who have 1-2 months of some oral meds to help jump-start things, to be considered abnormal? I really wonder and wish I knew more about the number of women out there that are like me. I feel like we are eachother's only true support system as we are the only ones who truly know what we are experiencing being the "abnormal" women trying to conceive. Not only does this suck enough having to forgo the "normal" pregnancy experience of "trying" or having a "whoopsie," missing a period, resulting in the decision to test, and getting that unexpected and exciting positive pregnancy test, but us "abnormal women" are the ones who pump full of meds, have multiple office visits, scheduled sex or artificial inseminations, and then test compulsively often only to receive negative test after negative test. I am so pissed off at this point that I have to feel this and go through this and other people don't. I don't wish this on others, and I know that this is what it sounds like. BUT, I seriously would never wish what my husband and are going through on even my worst enemy. But I do wish that there was some way that other people could actually empathize with us rather than just sympathize. I have to pretend to be strong, happy, and excited for everyone else who is "normal" and no one can even begin to understand or empathize with what I feel. It's so messed up! I know that putting my emotions into words on a page won't fix anything but at least it releases a bit of my frustration. I am determined not only to somehow start the family that my husband and I have been ready for and deserving of for years, but I am determined to somehow help other women like me. WE are not "abnormal". We are forced to be stronger and more determined. I tell people openly about my experience in hopes that they will understand it and somehow help others that are experiencing the same thing. I know that our patience will somehow pay off in the future! When we finally have our baby, all of this bullshit will be totally worth it and forgotten,  and "normal" will be a term that won't mean a thing!