Coming Out of My "Closet" (not the one you'd think)

So I saw an inspiring video on Facebook the other day in which a woman talked about how people need to come out of their "closet."  She explained how this is not just about sexuality but rather the "closet" can be anything that is hard to talk about.  Everyone likely has some "closet" to come out of: telling a loved one you are sick, telling someone you cheated, or anything difficult of that nature.  After recent restless nights, intermittent random bouts of tears, nights spent falling asleep quietly crying next to my husband...I've decided that I need an outlet to let go of my emotions.  Conversations and "talking about it" are not my thing.  Writing something is much easier for me.  So, let's hope this blog helps me deal with what I have on my plate (and heavily weighing on my mind).  My hope in this blog is not to educate or preach or anything of that nature.  I don't even care if anyone reads it.  I just need to find some way to deal with my emotions and my situation.  This is one of the many "tips" I've read on the thousands of websites I've looked to for help and guidance.

Back to the "closet."  I don't feel that I have a huge announcement, but in the midst of beginning my blogging or journaling experience, I feel the need to explain my purpose.  Here goes: I am experiencing infertility issues.  Woah!  That was easy.  No tears when it comes out on the keyboard and not my mouth.  Okay, just a few welling up but no one is here to see them this time.  Close friends, some family members and some of mine and my husband's coworkers know this already.  I'm sure those that didn't may have been wondering.  But now the rest of you (whoever you are) know as well.  My hope in sharing this is to allow me to journal my emotions daily, weekly, hourly (hopefully not but sometimes I feel like that would help) and to let others close to us in on the "secret."  I also hope that this will end some of the frequently asked questions that are often difficult to answer: "when are you guys going to start a family?....have you guys talked about kids?...blah blah blah"  Sometimes it feels like it's become easy to answer and swallow my emotions during these conversations.  I give a generic response like "oh hopefully soon" or "whenever it happens."  The more difficult, honest response typically leads to tears and then makes the conversation very awkward for the other person.  So let's hope some of these questions can be put aside now.

I won't go into a long drawn out story about where we started and how long we've come...not on this blog anyways.  Again, I am hoping this will help relieve some stress and emotions that are built up.  And yes, I've tried a lot of things: massage, acupuncture, vacations, and so on...So here we are...Still no baby and still a lot of stress and emotions.  I would love constructive or positive comments if anyone has anything to share or suggestions.  I would NOT love negative or hateful comments, so please keep those to yourself and don't read it if you don't like it.  I look forward to spilling more soon!  Thanks for listening!!  BTW the link to that video that inspired me is here: http://www.upworthy.com/a-4-year-old-girl-asked-a-lesbian-if-shes-a-boy-she-responded-the-awesomest-way-possible?g=2 .  It was very interesting!

CBelz