The Waiting Game...

Today I sit on my couch, now on day one of post embryo transfer of our IVF cycle. Today I have been reflecting back on our journey up to this point and replaying the events of the egg retrieval and embryo transfer in my head. It's one of those feelings like after you go on a vacation and you just want to make sure you remember all of the details and fun parts of your trip. I remember being wheeled to the OR, passing all of the surgeons, RNs and other OR staff along the way. I remember passing by my doctor on the way into the room, looking up and smiling at him as he asked if we are ready. I felt like I wanted to cry because I was so excited. Our hopes and dreams of becoming parents could be one step closer to coming true! That was quite a build up of emotions I was feeling!

Now that the replay is over and we have our fun pictures to look back on of us gowned up and ready for surgery, we move on to the next phase of the process. This phase is "the wait." Women in my situation know all about that dreaded Two Week Wait. I am so used to this waiting period by now that I haven't yet decided if this will feel different than the wait in our past years of our journey, or if it will kick in some time soon that this may in fact be a much more stressful and worrisome wait. Right now, as we speak, I am on day 2 of vegetating on my couch while listening to my husband and father-in-law bang away at siding outside of our house. I feel as though I am staying very level headed and have told myself not to over-analyze every twinge, cramp, or funny feeling. We did find out this morning that our final remaining embryo did not survive to make it to the freezing process. So, pun intended, all of our eggs are in this basket! I am trying to stay relaxed, still and level-headed and hoping I can carry this forward for the remainder of my 10 day wait (we get the luxury of a shorter wait due to the scheduled blood pregnancy test!). So it has yet to be decided how my emotions will surface or change over the next 9 days of waiting.

I am sure every woman handles the wait differently. I myself historically am an overeager and compulsive tester. For some reason, sometimes it seems like the more tests you take that maybe just once there will be a positive. I currently have no pregnancy tests in my house and being couch-ridden at this time, there is no chance of me sneaking out to get any. I plan to stick it out the whole 10 days until our blood test is scheduled. We shall see if I can make it! So that's all for now...